Tradition Behind the Wedding Engagement
Most couples plan a year-long engagement to make preparations for
their wedding, although some couples spend 2 or more years making
plans for their Big Day!
In the early days, the betrothal ritual involved an exchange of gifts or property from the groom-to-be to the bride-to-be's parents. This was not only ceremonial but an important part of the marriage contract because the bride's family was losing her to another lineage forever so compensation had to be paid. The betrothal eventually gave way in the eighteenth century to a courtship whereby a groom chose his bride for reasons of love.
Following the era of the arranged marriage when the groom would specify the exact payment he offered for his future wife, the formality of a groom asking the bride-to-be's father for her hand in marriage preserves a trace of history and often serves to cement the relationship between the groom to-be and his future father-in-law.
Origin of the Engagement Ring
Engagement rings or betrothal rings date back thousnads of years
to the early days of marriage by purchase when gold rings were circulated
as currency. The groom-to-be would offer his bride-to-be a gold
ring both as his partial payment and as a symbol of his intentions.
The earliest brides-to-be wore woven bands made of rush (a flexible marsh plant with hollow stems), and replaced them each year. Roman brides-to-be wore rings made of iron to symbolize the permanent, unending nature of marriage. During Medieval times grooms-to-be placed the ring on three of the bride's fingers in turn to represent the Holy Trinity - the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
The Gimmal Ring
The gimmal ring originated during the Elizabethan period and is
a set of three interlocking rings. During the engagement the bride-to-be,
groom to-be and their witness each wore one of the rings until the
wedding day when the three pieces were united as a single ring for
the bride.
Buying the Engagement Ring and Considering Other Options
It is customary for the groom-to-be to cover the expense of the
engagement ring for his bride. Because of the cost of some engagement
rings and wedding bands it is increasingly more acceptable for the
bride-to-be to contribute to the purchase of her ring. It is usual
for her at least to purchase her fiance's wedding band. The most
popular groom's rings today are classic bands of gold or platinum.
Probably the first consideration for a groom is whether to purchase a new engagement ring or present a family heirloom. The most traditional engagement ring is a diamond solitaire which can easily be paired with a variety of wedding bands. Some brides prefer to wear their engagement and wedding rings separately, or to just wear their engagement rings on special occasions.
The bridal couple should visit several jewelers to compare selection of styles, workmanship, price points, and customer service. A jeweller's credentials and memberships in professional jewellery associations can be checked. The American Gem Society, founded in 1931, is an organisation maintaining high standards for its members and sponsors ongoing educational programs to train retail sales associates. Most jewellers offer complimentary sizing, cleaning, and tightening of the stone for the first six months or year of ownership.
Technical Specifications
The setting refers to the arrangement of stones within the metal
frame of the ring. A good setting is like the right picture frame:
it needs to show off what is inside and be able to fit in with its
surroundings. It is, therefore, important to find the perfect setting
that goes not only with the stone the couple choose, but also looks
good on the bride's hand.
Engagement rings are popularly available set in gold and white gold. Silver is rarely used because it tarnishes and therefore is not a good representation for a marriage. Platinum, a metal used for rings prior to World War I, is now popular again in the rings worn by almost one-third of today's engaged women. Fourteen karat gold and 24 karat gold are numbers which refer to the purity of the gold. Twenty-four karat is pure gold, while 14 karat is a blend with 14 parts gold and 10 parts of another metal.
Various Gemstones that can be Incorporated in an Engagement
Ring
Some brides choose their birthstone or favorite gemstone in a setting
enhanced with diamonds. Alternatives are below:
• Garnet, the birthstone of January, is regarded to symbolize
eternal friendship. The garnet is a semi-transparent, dark red gemstone.
• According to biblical folklore, amethyst is a February birthstone
and is a symbol of faithfulness and sincerity. This gem is a clear
purple or bluish violet quartz widely used in various types of jewellery.
• Aquamarine, the March birthstone is a transparent blue,
bluegreen, or green gemstone. It is said to symbolise intelligence
and courage.
• Diamonds, the birthstone of April, are believed to protect
the wearer from evil spirits and represent innocence and matrimonial
happiness. While most diamonds appear colourless, others offer a
hint of colour ranging from a soft blue to light yellow.
• Emerald, the birthstone of May is a symbol of domestic harmony
and success in love. This gem is a transparent green stone.
• The pearl is said to reflect health and longevity and is
the birthstone of June.
• The July birthstone, a red corundum, is the symbol of love
and contentment. Legend suggests that a ruby engagement ring will
darken in color if the course of true love is not running smoothly.
• The sardonyx, the birthstone of August, is a white-and-brown
variety of the onyx.
• The sapphire is said to bring its wearer good health and
good fortune. The birthstone for September represents truth and
faithfulness. This gemstone is from the same family as the ruby,
but is rich blue in colour.
• The opal, an October birthstone, symbolises hope. This gem
is often marked with an iridescent mixture of colours against a
soft, milky white ground or a vivid, fiery ground.
• Fidelity is expressed in topaz a November birthstone, which
is a yellow to yellow-brown transparent gemstone.
• Turquoise, a blue, bluish-green, or green gem is the December
birthstone. It is said to represent prosperity.
Criteria to Use in Shopping for a Diamond Ring
Financial experts recommend that couples spend aproximately one
month of the groom's salary on the engagement ring, although this
is by no means set in stone - excuse the pun!
The diamond industry has identified the four C's -- colour, clarity, cut, and carat weight -- to assist consumers in making educated purchases.
Many diamonds appear colourless although there are many that contain a varying degree of color. The Gemological Institute of America has a letter grading system for classifying the colour of diamonds, starting with D for the slightest blue tone and spanning the alphabet to Z for the yellow stones.
The clarity of a diamond refers to the number of internal flaws contained in the stone. Diamonds, the crystallized form of carbon, may contain some impurities that are often visible only by a jeweller's microscope. The fewer number of flaws increases the value of the stone.
The cut of a diamond refers to the design of facets, including the round solitaire, marquise, oval, pear, and emerald. High quality diamonds reflect more light and appear to have a greater sparkle. The marquise cut refers to a stone that is pointed at both ends. An emerald cut refers to a stone that is square or rectangular.
The karat of a stone is a unit of weight for precious gems equal to 200 milligrams. There are 100 points to a karat. The average size of an engagement ring today is about .75 karat.
The Role of an Outside Appraisal
Before making the final purchase of an engagement ring, the groom
should try to take the ring to an independent appraiser for examination.
The appraiser will prepare a written document that confirms the
specific composition of both the stone and the setting, including
a detailed description of the weight, colour and shape. The appraisal
essentially identifies the quality of the ring, which should be
compatible with the price set by the jeweller. Any discrepancy in
the appraiser's examination of the stone and setting should be resolved
with the jeweller before the sale is complete.
Insurance to Protect an Engagement Ring
For some couples, the wedding jewellery can be covered on a basic
homeowner's insurance policy, but should be listed separately. The
rings should be reappraised about every five years and the insurance
coverage adjusted to reflect the current value. Couples should consult
with their insurance to determine their needs-protection against
theft and/or loss, and coverage if the whole ring is lost, not just
the stone.
Timing in Presenting an Engagement Ring, Making the Proposal
and the Ensuing Announcement
Although many grooms-to-be take pleasure in slipping an engagement
ring on their fiancee's finger along with the offering proposal,
it is certainly not a requirement for a couple when pledging their
love to each other. In today's modern age, many couples spend time
together shopping for the engagement ring either before or after
the conversations that lead to the formal proposal. Many grooms-to-be
employ a restaurant waiter to share in the process by placing the
engagement ring in the bride-to-be's champagne glass, or by delivering
a dessert inscribed with the question "Will you marry me?"
or having a fortune cookie specially made with the proposal written
inside. The engagement ring is placed on the third finger of the
left hand since in ancient times this finger was believed to be
the only one with a vein running directly to the heart. Therefore,
it was believed that a ring on this finger would ensure a long and
loving marriage.
Both sets of parents should be the first to learn of the upcoming marriage. Traditionally, the bride's family hosts the first social gathering to share the good news with family members and close friends If the groom's family resides in a distant town, they may also host an engagement party for the couple.
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